


the champions hold a seance

by Ffwydriad



Category: Champions (Comics)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death Fix, Crack, Demon Summoning, Gen, Hell, Humor, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Limbo, Post-Secret Empire (Marvel), Resurrection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ffwydriad/pseuds/Ffwydriad
Summary: Following the end of Secret Empire, where Natasha Romanov sacrificed her life in an attempt to save Miles Morales, the Champions meet up to do the only thing they can -Bring her back from the dead.Shouldn't be that hard, right? I mean, this is Marvel. People come back to life all the time.





	1. limboooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should feel bad, writing this instead of finishing the next chapter of WIP. But that one requires an actual plot, and emotional weight, and all that hard stuff, while this is just a hilarious trash fire. 
> 
> For anyone who didn't read the Secret Empire champions tie ins (i don't blame you secret empire sucked) the quick summary is that Miles was destined to kill Hydra!Cap, Natasha hid the champions away and trained them all to be super awesome resistance fighters, and then she died at the hands of Hydra!Cap rather than have Miles become a murderer. Fun stuff.

They sit around in a circle, the lights down low, candles flickering.

“This is dumb,” Kamala says.

“Shut up,” Miles retorts. “This isn’t dumb. People come back to life all the time. We’ve all died before.”

“So you say,” Nadia says. “But I’m pretty sure that restarting the universe is different than, you know, holding a seance.”

Amadeus sighs, for what has to be at least the fifth time today. “It isn’t a seance,” he corrects.. “A seance just lets you talk to ghosts.”

“Why are you going along with this?” Riri asks. “I know we all want her back, but seriously? You should be backing us up on this. Magic isn’t real.”

“Magic is real,” Amadeus says.

“It’s all just science we don’t understand yet,” Riri says.

“Sure,” Amadeus says. “Anyways, the first thing we’re going to do is call upon the various underworlds to figure out exactly where she went.”

“So, a seance,” Nadia says.

“It isn’t a seance!”

“Why do you know the rituals to summon a ton of death gods?” Sam asks.

“It’s useful information!” Amadeus retorts. “I learned most of it while trying to bring Herc back from the dead. Didn’t help much, but there’s no reason _not_ to know it.”

“Are we summoning the devil?” Miles asks.

Amadeus pauses. “Yes?” he says, hesitantly.

“This is why my parents don’t want me hanging out with you guys,” Kamala says.

“Your parents don’t know we hang out,” Viv points out.

“And this is why I don’t tell them,” Kamala says. “Come on, Viv, you have to agree with us. This is super dumb.”

“Prior evidence has shown that magic is real,” Viv says. “There is no reason why Amadeus’ methods shouldn’t work.”

“So what happens if she’s not in hell?” Sam asks.

“I’m checking a lot of afterlifes, not just hell,” Amadeus says. “And if that’s the case, then we’re just gonna have to move to some higher powers.”

“My brother,” Viv supplies, ruining Amadeus’ ominous tone.

“Isn’t your brother dead?” Miles asks.

“My half-brother,” Viv corrects.

“We’re going to meet Wiccan?” Kamala asks. “That’s so cool! I always wanted to meet one of the Young Avengers.”

“Quiet!” Amadeus yells, and they all fall silent. “There are a lot of afterlives to look into, so I’ve devised a system to get through them quickly. We’re going to start with the various limbos, move on in to the hells, and then go through the hell-like realms.”

“Why are we starting with the hells?” Sam asks. “I mean, I get it, she wasn’t a great person, but I don’t think she went down there.”

“They’re the easiest to summon,” Amadeus says. “Trying to figure out who got in to Valhalla is a pain.”

“So!” Nadia exclaims. “Let’s go summon the devil.”

“We’re starting with Limbo, not hell,” Viv corrects. “Summoning the devil comes later.”

“Eh,” Amadeus mutters. “I mean, I think this guy might be the devil. A devil. Just with a bit of creativity when it comes to naming things.” He corrects the summoning circle, slightly. “We call upon the Lord of Limbo, Infernal majesty, ruler of the realm between!”

A strong wind blows, shaking the tips of the candles, smoke bellowing up from the circle, and the whole room seems to shake. Out of the smoke, and the fire, steps a woman - a demon, red skinned, horned, with the legs of a goat and silver armor, and a face like -

“Magik?” Kamala asks.

The demon pauses, looks at Kamala, and the hellish aspects disappear, leaving a blond woman with a very large sword, standing in the middle of a pentagram. She’s wearing sweatpants.

“Ms Marvel,” Illyana Rasputin notes. “And Scott’s friends.”

“Scott?” Riri questions.

“Cyclops," Miles explains. "He left."

Illyana doesn’t react. She looks around the room, at the summoning circle, and at the group of them. “Why have you summoned me?”

“We’re looking for a soul,” Kamala says. “The soul of the Black Widow. Natasha Romanoff. Do you have it?”

“Yes,” Illyana says.

“Well, that was easy.” Sam says.

“But not,” Illyana continues. “The one you seek. Limbo is the realm between, and it is connected to the multiverse. Four times, Natasha Romanoff has given her soul to Limbo, through dealings or through death. The soul you look for is not one of those four.”

“Do you know where it is?”

“I do not meet with the Hell Lords,” Illyana tells them.

“So, that’s a no,” Sam says. “I guess that’s it, then?”

Illyana turns and matches Amadeus’ eyes with a cold gaze. “You know what you must do, Prince of Power.”

“Seriously? I thought we were done with that,” Amadeus complains.

“And you-” Illyana says, turning to Kamala. “I will see you at Moon Girl’s birthday party.”

“Uh, sure,” Kamala says. Illyana opens a disc of golden light at her feet, and vanishes in to it. “Bye?”

“That was. Something,” Riri says. “Kamala, are you friends with the devil?”

“She’s not the devil, she’s an X-man,” Kamala says. “Except also, maybe?”

“Okay.” Riri nods. “Anyone else best friends with a death god?”

“I gave a man a cheeseburger and he brought my mom back to life,” Miles says.

“Yes, we know, you’ve told us like a hundred times,” Sam says.

“It’s a good story!” Miles yells. “Like you aren’t always ranting on about how you’re friends with the Guardians, and space pirates, and-”

“That’s because space pirates are the best, and your story is lame. Pocket cheeseburgers will never be cool.”

“Hey, pocket cheeseburgers are -” Amadeus starts.

“Are you about to defend pocket cheeseburgers?” Riri asks. “Really?”

“Are we talking cheeseburgers that are shrunk to be easily stored in your pockets - which, I mean, cool idea, or just a regular sized cheeseburger shoved haphazardly where it shouldn’t be?” Nadia asks. Amadeus and Miles both pause, and look at each other.

“Nadia, have you made actual pocket cheeseburgers?” Miles asks.

“Not cheeseburgers,” Nadia says. "Yet."

Amadeus purses his lips. “We’re gonna talk about this later, because I am in serious need of ways to store even more junk food on me. But first! Limbo!”

“Didn’t we just finish with Limbo?”

“Different Limbo,” Amadeus says. “Okay. Everyone’s going to need to link hands -”

“Like a seance,” Nadia says.

“It’s not a seance,” Amadeus repeats.

“Good, because if you need believers-” Riri trails off.

“Nothing like that. I just need all of you to focus the energy of your minds towards me, so that I can open the gate to Limbo. Super easy.”

“Yeah, everything you said definitely says easy to me,” Sam says. Still, he links hands with Miles and Viv, and scrunches his eyes in concentration.

Again, there is wind, but this time it whips through their hair, and as they open their eyes and look up, there is what basically seems to be a hole in reality, and through it, a ton of ghosts.

“Huh,” Amadeus says.

“I think what you mean is,” Nadia starts, “Why Nadia, your observations are absolutely correct, this is a seance. You are smarter than me, and everyone knows it.”

“I didn’t realize it would look like that,” Amadeus says. “Hey! Ghosts! Is Natasha Romanoff there?”

One of the ghosts floats down, peering through the hole. “Who opens the rift between worlds?”

“The Champions,” Kamala says.

“Of Los Angeles?” the ghost asks, confused,

“No! Just the Champions,” Miles says. “Is Natasha there or not?”

“The soul you seek is elsewhere,” the ghost replies. “You play with forces beyond your understanding. To tear holes between dimensions is a dangerous task.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Amadeus says blithely. He breaks the hand chain and waves the ghost away, and the rip closes itself up, fading in to fog.

“Should we be worried about that?” Miles asks.

“Nah,” Amadeus says. “Alright, on to the Hells.”

“Amadeus,” Kamala says, “are we going to cause the apocalypse?”

“Probably not.”

“Probably?”

“There’s an approximately 5% chance,” Amadeus says. “And if we do, it should be simple to fix. Nothing to worry about.”

“That definitely sounds like something we should all be very, very worried about,” Riri says. “Alright. On to summoning Satan, I guess.”

"Don't be silly," Amadeus says. "We're starting with Belial. Satan's after that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short but wtev. this isn't exactly a super serious, plot-heavy fic.

They're on like their, fifth?, Satan, with no luck. Kamala goes to open up a window and get the stench of sulfur and brimstone out of the room while the rest start to interrogate the latest summoning. 

"The Black Widow?" the devil says. "She's still alive."

"What." They all stare at him, dumbfounded. 

"You mean all of this was for nothing?" Amadeus asks, and starts to walk off in annoyance. 

"Hey, it's better than having to rescue her from hell," Miles says. "So, do you know where Natasha is?"

"Who is Natasha?" Satan asks. 

"Natasha Romanova?" Nadia asks. "The Black Widow?"

"I was referring to my servant on this realm, Claire Voyant, the Black Widow. I was unawares any other had taken the name." He pauses, and looks around, slightly sheepish. "I have not been summoned to this realm by any save her in quite some time."

"Yeah, yeah, Mephisto gets all the summons," Amadeus says. "So you don't have the soul of Natasha Romanov?"

"I fear not. Would any of you like advanced powers in return for sending me the souls of the wicked?"

"That's gonna be a no," Sam replies. "We're all pretty good on the powers front, and on the not killing front, and on the not making deals with demons front."

"Suit yourselves," Satan says, then vanishes.

"So," Kamala says, sitting down. "Who's next?"

"Belial, Beelzebub, Satana, Lucifer, and this guy," Amadeus says, reading down the list. "Which means there's only one left."

"Mephisto," Miles supplies. "The other Spider-Man has warned me about him. I mean, I assume you shouldn't mess with any devil, but this one is the big bad."

"I too have been warned of Mephisto, by my father," Viv supplies. 

"Oh great," Riri says. "We're not just summoning Satan. We're summoning the worst of all of the Satans."

"I'm just going to stress that everyone make sure not to break the circle," Amadeus says. "Releasing Mephisto on to Earth would have devestating consequences."

"Come on, like he hasn't been beaten by the Avengers a hundred times before," Sam jokes. 

"Sam! We're talking about the literal Devil!" Kamala says. "Just because the Avengers have defeated him before doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful!"

"Geez!" Sam says. "It isn't exactly hard not to break the circle."

"Still," Amadeus says. "Alright. Mephisto, Lord of Hell, We Invite You here to this Mortal Plane."

There is a dark chill that falls over the room, and smoke echoes from the pentagram on the floor. As it clears, there is a man standing in the center of the circle. He's blonde, wearing a leather jacket, and eating cheetos - and one things for certain - this isn't Mephisto.

"Good going there, Cho," Riri says. "I've got to say, I'm really in awe of the most dangerous devil ever."

"Huh," the man says, looking around.

"I don't understand?"  Amadeus says, pouring over his notes. "This should have worked! That should have summoned Mephisto."

"You kids shouldn't be summoning demons," the man says. "Not that I'm one to judge. Nice to meet you, Johnny Blaze, I took over for Mephisto a while back."

"Don't shake his hand!" Nadia shouted! "This could be a trick!"

"Johnny Blaze? Seriously?" Sam asks. "What, was Demon McHellman taken?"

"It is," Amadeus says. "Daimon Hellstrom. We summoned his sister."

"I'm not a demon," Blaze replies. "That is my actual, human name. I'm surprised you kids haven't heard of me - I'm pretty famous in super hero circles. Ghost Rider."

"I've met Ghost Rider," Kamala says. "He's, like, our age."

"Not Robbie, the original!" He looks kind of annoyed. "So. I suppose I should ask why you kids summoned me."

"Stop calling us kids," Miles says. "We're not kids. We're the Champions."

"Seriously? Wait, yeah, I remember hearing that some kids had taken up the name," Blaze says. "You guys the Champions of Los Angeles, or just the Champions?"

"Wait, the Champions of Los Angeles were a real team?" Nadia asks. "I thought that was just something those ghosts said."

"Seriously?" Blaze and Amadeus said at the same time.

"I knew they existed, vaguely," Kamala said. "But not for ages. That's why the team name was free to use."

"Those were the days," Blaze says, nostalgically. "Me, Natasha, Iceman, Angel, and Hercules. What a team."

"That makes no sense," Riri says. "That is an incredibly random group of people."

"Yeah, we got that a lot," Blaze replies. 

"Speaking of Natasha," Amadeus interrupts, "we're kind of looking for her soul."

"Looking to resurrect her?" Blaze asks. "The Red Room will probably get around to it eventually. Or the Hand. Or, well, any number of people."

"It would be nice to not have to fight an evil mind controlled version of her before she comes back," Kamala points out. "So, you're ruling Mephisto's realm, which, side note, that's really weird, do you have her soul?"

"No, I'm sorry," Blaze says. "I haven't done a complete inventory of every soul in hell, but I would have known if she were down there." He sighs. "Good luck trying to bring her back."

"And good luck ruling hell?" Sam says. 

"Thanks," Blaze said, before vanishing in to the smoke again.

"That was something," Nadia says. "I wonder what happened to Mephisto."

"He is currently prisoner in the penthouse suit of a Vegas Casino," Viv supplies. "On a related note, Las Vegas was returned to normal last week."

All of them look around at each other. "I guess that Natasha is the last thing really," Miles starts. 

"Rick Jones is still dead," Amadeus says. "But, yeah."

"We can work on him after we find Natasha," Kamala says. "So, we've run out of Hells. What's next?


End file.
